God’s
timing. Lately the perspective from the rearview mirror seems to keep getting
wider or maybe it’s just that my outlook is changing. I know there are many
“whys” I will not understand in this life. I know there are mistakes I have
made and that there are encounters He has allowed. As I ponder all of this, I
realize God is growing my faith and my gratefulness lately as He gives me
glimpses of His mercy and generosity. His ways and thoughts so over shadow my
small perspective. He is allowing me to see His goodness, His restoration after
what I fittingly call “a time of locusts.” God is good and He proves His
goodness to me time and time again in ways I don’t expect, in processes that I
would have never chosen for myself.
Months
ago I heard a sermon about the “Round-about Way of the Father.” The pastor
stated something to this effect- The round-about way of God is when we find
ourselves in a place where we don’t want to be and usually we’re in that place
longer than we desire. It’s when we find ourselves in a desert thinking life
has dried up. And sometimes it’s not so much that we’re in the desert, but that
the desert is in us. And many times, we don’t know how long we’re gonna’ be in
the desert, on that round-about way of God. We want to ask - Are we there yet?
Why am I not there yet? Or even sometimes- will I ever get “there?”
The
round-about way comes to all of us at one time or another in this life. When
your heart aches with hurt or loss and you don’t understand why you’ve ended up
where you are. You may have faith and
you know God can give you what you’re asking for........but He doesn’t. Yet.
I
have found a waiting and growing season on that round-about way. How little would I understand and appreciate the magnitude of His gifts today without Him
calling me to journey alongside Him through that time of single and sometimes
lonely dependence on Him? Especially on this journey, He has been my portion,
forever faithful. To speak honestly, I have struggled with giving thanks on the
round-about way, not understanding His ways or His timing. But I have also realized
that the hard-learned attitude of thankfulness was what drew me closer to Him.
His hand held me fast. And that same hand is still proving His
generosity to me. I am forever grateful.
As
I contemplate His goodness to me, the focus of my thanksgiving this year turned
to the blessing of family. The connection of hearts, the unconditional love,
the mainstays of life. I believe there is no greater joy God has given me than
to celebrate His love with family- and sometimes that means blood relation or
simply the family you choose. Having “family” is truly abundance. God reminds
me of the eternal treasure He has given each time I am with my family. My
Father is so good and giving. He calls me to follow in that generosity.
Generosity
is a natural outflow of a truly grateful heart. I have learned I must lose
myself to get my Father’s best, giving up what I think I want for what He has
in store for me. But even when He asks me to let something go, I have to
remember that God’s nature is generous- rich in wisdom, kindness and grace.
What He gives is so much more than I deserve, so much better than I what I
would choose for myself, and immensely greater than what I dreamed. Isn’t it
amazing when God speaks to your heart and teaches you, allowing you to see His
love lived out in front of you?
Recently
I have become reacquainted with a dear friend from my childhood. God has gifted
me with this friendship again. I now have the privilege of getting to know him
all over again. I am watching him live out Christ’s love, giving generously to
those around him and I am amazed. I have observed as he makes time for those
things that would seem small-the little conversations, the stops out of his way
to show care and concern, to slow down and help those he meets when it would be
easier to walk past. I have seen generosity in those moments when life would be
more convenient to hoard time rather than give it away. I realize that he is
living out the legacy his God-loving parents lived before him. Seeing Christ’s
generosity in his life causes me to stop and examine my own heart. I know the
motive behind the act is more important than the act itself. “Where your
treasure is, there will your heart be also.”- (Matthew 6:21 and Luke 12:34). Where
is my treasure?
Christ’s
example taught us to give of ourselves. We honor God with how we give- whether
in time, talents or possessions. It’s not about the outcome. God doesn’t need
what I have. It’s about following the prompting to give of ourselves, to keep
receiving what He has for me by giving away what He has first given me, to show
up and live a life of generosity.
What
a simple practice, a return to Him for all He’s done for me - a thankful and
generous heart is a small way to say thank you.
I sit
in awestruck anticipation as God is writing a new chapter in my life. He is the
amazing author and finisher of my faith. As He turns this page for me, I want
the theme to be the joy of thankfulness. “For all that You’ve done and all that
You’ll do, my heart pours out – thank You.” -Bethel, “Thank You.”
